What a surprise, Linsday Lohan looks like crap.

Lindsay Lohan, looking her best. No. Really.

This girl needs to find something productive to do with her life. It’s obvious she has no decent future in Hollywood, so she should find work selling something people could use. She could make a career selling bathtub cleansers, pond supplies, or maybe even aquarium fish. Anything but acting, really. It’s time for her to move on.

Lindsay Lohan has a small issue with the sides of her clothing.

Why’s she in a hurry? Is she checking out New Orleans hotel specials? She always seems to be in a hurry and apparently, with nowhere to go.

She better do something to start supporting those puppies or she’s going to be kicking them when she walks.

If I was Lindsay Lohan, I think I would wear tops that propped up my saggy boobs rather than letting them hang down to my belly button.

Is that a post-it note on her belly button?

No doubt about it. Linsday Lohan is whacked out.

Whoa. Now that’s whacked out!

I bet she actually thinks she looks good too.

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Do you remember when Hollywood personalities didn’t need to “recreate” something to look beautiful?

I’m not taking anything away from Lindsay Lohan, but she’s no Marilyn Monroe.

The more I look at the pictures of Lindsay, the more I feel the need to find my antiseptic wipes and start cleaning out my eye sockets.

You can see more of Lindsay at New York Magazine.

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Is it just me, or do you get the eeby jeebies when you see pictures of Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears lately? Seriously, I think anyone who associates with them should be wearing disposable gloves and face masks for their own protection. Some of the younger women in Hollywood need to make some serious New Year’s resolutions.

Then again, I have been known to be a little over zealous when it comes to dirt phobias. Maybe, one day, I will tell you about the whole plastic silverware I used to carry in my shirt pocket.

You know the world is going to hell in a handbasket when we read the following…

We thought it was coming up to New Year’s not the start of April, but apparently Lindsay Lohan’s picking up an award for her “contribution to cinema” tomorrow.

The party-loving 21-year-old is in Italy to attend the Capri Film Festival, where she will pick up the award at a black-tie dinner tomorrow night.

Her contributions to cinema? Who in the hell started this revisionist history thing, because people are getting a bit carried away. Lindsay Lohan?

I personally wouldn’t want to be anywhere near Miss Lohan. I wouldn’t want to be at the dinner, I wouldn’t want to be in the same city, heck you couldn’t pay me enough to sit on the same plane with her. Those who do, however, should purchase lots of travel insurance, because you never know what you might catch.

[Picture via DListed]

Don’t look now, but Lindsay Lohan is sticking around Utah for a while.

Don’t look for Lindsay Lohan on the Hollywood club scene — or any Hollywood scene — anytime soon.

Just hours after leaving Cirque Lodge treatment center in Utah, Lohan tells OK! magazine (on stands nationwide Friday) that she’s settling in the mountains.

“I’m staying in Utah until it’s time to shoot Dare to Love Me,” Lohan says, “and then I plan on returning to Utah so I can stay focused and avoid other distractions.” (Lohan has a small role in the story of Tango legend Carlos Gardel.)

But she’s not saying goodbye to the Hollywood industry. “Absolutely not — never! I’m here to stay,” says the actress, 21. “My talent is a gift, and I’m going to use it in the right way.”

Her talent is a gift? I wonder which talent she was referring too, cuz it sure hasn’t been acting lately. If she had done her own market research she would realize that as well.